Pay Attention Here CBC Execs
My mind is a repository of useless facts. I know that Thomas Edison invented the common usage of the word “hello” and I know that Jon Stewart was originally the forerunner for the Late Late Show on CBS when Tom Snyder stepped down, but as he didn’t want to move away from New York it went to Craig Kilborn, who was hosting a then-unknown fake news program called The Daily Show. Stewart took the helm in Kilborn’s absence, and the rest is TV Guide history. I have such a panoply of comedy connections floating around in my head that I can barely hold a normal conversation anymore. Just ask my friends. Oh wait, you can’t. They’ve all left me. But when it comes to Canadian comedy, it’s a bit of an empty club. Sure we can sometimes crank out good sketch shows (SCTV’s McKenzie brothers were a response to the CBC’s demand for more Canadian content) but aside from Corner Gas, I can’t say that there’s a single Canadian show that I will go out of my way to watch.
Now, I could probably write a dissertation on what is wrong with Canadian television that touch on everything from the American Brain Drain to attitudes of the Canadian public. In fact I would have, but I like Gadzooks, and I’d hate to be banned from it. So I’ll keep it simple and stick to one problem. Watch me dance. We can’t afford to copy the American format! We should stop trying to emulate it. Being so close the entertainment Mecca means that imitations will blanch whiter than a photograph left out in the sun when held up to them. Why watch a shoddy Canadian version of something when the original source is readily available? If we’re going to be copycats, we should be looking towards the BBC. They manage to make fantastic shows on a lower (though admittedly not, say, CBC- low) budget, and they’re not the U.S. at all! I like how the Brits focus on quality not quantity. An average season of a show runs from 6-12 episodes. That’s it. But the writers (and there’s often only two or three) take half a year to write and finesse six scripts rather than the rushed conditions even the best shows put their writers through in North America. It means that the quality is more consistent, and the scripts more complex. It’s also much cheaper to pay writers a bit more to slave away on a few excellent scripts that people look forward to seeing than to throw out a massive load of slop no one watches. And as unbelievable as it may seem, they will wait two years to get the scripts if they have to. Keeping the runs short also decrease the likely that shows exhaust themselves creatively, and you’ve got to admire their ability to leave ‘em wanting more. The other thing short seasons do, pay attention here CBC execs, is leave funds open to commission a broader range of programming. Rather than sinking all of your money into 20 episodes of Little Mosque on the Prairie that please the same lame-ass demographic, there’s the opportunity to please different people. (We’re not going to talk about the fact that CBC helps fund BBC mega-franchise Doctor Who, but they air the episodes months after the original air-date, losing viewership of people like me who know how to use the internet.)
The UK also sports a brace of panel shows. We don’t have those here, but we should. They’re cheap to make, and it’s something different from what American shows offer. Basically, a panel of comedians and other celebrities at large are assembled in a game show-type setting. Points are usually awarded arbitrarily, and are always secondary to being funny. It features home-grown talent which in Canada could introduce the idea that someone other than Rick Mercer can be funny. It not only helps promote existing shows, movies, music, whatever, but also helps create stars who can go on to power new shows. And you know what? Audiences like watching people they’ve heard of. As of right now, I have been unable to contact the CBC to share this revelation, and with summer coming, we’ll soon be in a deluge of bad reality TV from American networks. If you’re a fan of British comedy, you’ve managed to cover everything featuring John Cleese, Rowan Atkinson, or Ricky Gervaise, so I’ve got a list of British comedies you’ve never seen to tide you through rainy, muggy summer afternoons. Here now, is the first of several VH1-falvoured nibblets of a top ten list (Please imagine words being spoken by a dulcet-toned announcer as you read). #10. Never Mind the Buzzcocks- This is one of the afore-mentioned panel shows, this one with a pop sensibility. It demonstrates the ultimate formula for panel shows: witty host+comedians+possibly drunk wildcard celebrities trying to guess song lyrics or answer pop trivia=hilarity. Join us after this ten-minute commercial break for part two of this sixty-seven part series.
Next week, Andrea Miller will give you the inside scoop on what’s hot in British comedy series!