We had a Medieval Time
Well, it ain’t Chekov, but what else is really?
It is spectacle though, maybe not spectacular spectacle, but in the right frame of mind it is entertaining.
Medieval Times has been in Toronto for 16 years and still seems to be doing gangbuster business. I recently went down to Exhibition Place to eat with my hands while watching horses dance for a friend’s birthday party, her 37th.
Technically when you enter the ‘castle’ you’re supposed to be going back in time to 14th century Spain. Not that I’m complaining about authenticity, I know the whole thing is a gag for kids, but 14th century Spain is some clean! And I didn’t know they had so many extruded plastic cups back then.
But here’s a plus that can get you through the night at Medieval Times: It’s licensed. And there is something to be said about the unreality of drinking at a huge bar in a room selling days-of-yore knick-knacks while children run underneath your feet.
The actual show is performed in the cleanest hippodrome I’ve ever seen. I guess they figure no one wants to eat while breathing in the heady aromas of horse urine, sweat and manure. Then again they’ve probably never gone to Old Home Week and eaten Pogos while scraping horse shit off their shoes. Ah memories.
The show begins with a bit of background to the story. Honestly I lost the plot, as simple as it is, between ordering beer and getting settled into our section. Something about love, treachery, betrayal and eating with your hands.
The arena holds 1,600 spectators seated in variously colored sections denoting the knight you are to cheer for. Go Yellow!
With the number 1,600 in mind, the food is surprisingly edible. Not good but edible. My favourite part was the dessert which on the bill of fare was called Pastry of the Castle. That turns out to be a deep-fried apple flip. Delish.
Also it was a bit odd to be tucking into a half a chicken while a falcon flew overhead.
But the horses were beautiful. The main event starts with dressage, moves onto a tournament complete with jousting and ends in a climactic battle between television/broadcast graduates and surly drunken misunderstood actors. I imagine. This part was actually quite good and the green section next to use was jammed full of young teens from Quebec who really got into the whole thing. Go Green!
In the end though is it worth the price of admission (60 bucks!) to eat crappy food and watch horses dance? Of course it is. Where else are you going to see this kind of thing?
Just know that you should eat before hand and drink like a lord once you get there. Huzzah!
