What’s Black and White and Red All Over…
By Andrea Miller
Lately I’ve been trying to rise above the stereotype that all 18-25-year-olds get all their news from The Daily Show. Not that this is true. I have several friends who get no news at all, content to live in an academic bubble reading Shakespeare…or, you know, skipping that to play video games. A smaller-but - present group constantly have CNN in the background.
I, on the other hand, teeter on the precipice of relying on Jon Stewart and his cronies for current events, saved by the wonders of CBC radio giving me at least fifteen minutes a day of news. But, that doesn’t mask the fact that when The Daily Show is in one of its frequent bouts of repeats, I lag far, far behind. Despite this, if I happen to flip through an abandoned newspaper on the subway, I’ll quickly skim the news to rush to movie reviews.
Though I was never much of a news reader, being a political science student automatically kept me engaged with current events. And even if I may have been more interested in how Wolfe beating Montcalm was a direct link to current Quebec nationalism, I was far, far ahead of most of my friends where The Outside World was concerned.
It was only when asked to answer a survey on politics that I realized how out-of-touch I’d become. When grilled about Stephane Dion’s green plan, I knew: nothing. Didn’t even know it existed. I had a BA in Political Science and I could tell you nothing about politics!
I disgusted myself. I wanted to change. Even more importantly, and conveniently, my current job is to sit at a desk and wait for people to come talk to me (I could be an exhibit on loneliness, all I’m missing is a sign) and I can only read what is on my computer screen. Cue the online news!
So I’ve been working on this for a couple of weeks. First CBC’s news site seemed like a natural extension, but I found that the stories overlapped with radio broadcasts and I wasn’t learning much new. I ended up reading The Guardian AND The Times out of the UK, which was interesting, especially seeing how another country interpreted Canada. The highlight story was about UK Tory leader David Cameron getting his bicycle stolen because he had locked it around a short pole: the thief merely had to lift it to lift it. Cameron was seen wandering around going, “but…I locked it.” Which gave me a nice giggle.
But wait, I was trying to be serious! Instead of becoming interested in world events, my notebook began to house jokes and bits about the news. Especially when it was about the Pope. The Pope is always funny. Yes, I was working my brain and feeling pleased with myself, but it was for the wrong reasons! Finding horrible things in the news funny also tends to make you a horrible person. Hearing about the Pope being shot and thinking, “Wow, there are SO many jokes there” is not a healthy way to look at the world.
Furthermore, though I’d dutifully read the headlines like a child working through vegetables on a plate, I was really only doing to for dessert: for the weird stories in the “diversion” section like, “New Zealand Court Takes Child Away From Parents For Naming Tallulah Does The Hula In Hawaii” or, still, the damned movie reviews. I barely even go to the movies!
Worst of all, I wasn’t accomplishing my goal. A better handle on world events was a great step in the right direction, but I wanted to know what was happening at home. Especially with the threat of an election looming (still, always) I wanted to be able to have facts to back up my views. Or what if I’m wrong? Living in a bubble protects you from new information, making it impossible to change.
So I tried again. The biggest reason I didn’t read the news before was the lifeless writing. But in The Guardian I found prose that didn’t make me want to nap at my desk. Rather than try to wade through the headlines on the CBC website, or give another futile crack at The Toronto Star’s plodding, The National Post was up to bat. And maybe it wasn’t a home run, but I’m definitely on base: Canadian news, pleasant writing, and I’m more informed than I’ve been in a long time.
Though I have discovered that even with actual newspapers, you probably don’t need to read entire articles every day if you’re just looking to be informed. It’s like listening to the CBC all morning, the news breaks are all almost identical, barely updating stories as developments occur. Once you’ve read the initial story, you can pretty much get the updates by reading the headlines, “Liberals think an election soon a good idea,” “Harper to Liberals: Go Ahead, Make My Day.”
At the end of the week, I will be able to distill pages of information down into one sentence, “Shriveled Prunes Dangling Between Stephane Dion’s Legs Have Gained Some Plumpness; Gets Harper Excited.” Because, you know, a few diversions are a good thing too.
Andrea Miller already knows the stories The Daily Show references.