The Art of...Breakfast Cereal.
I wouldn't rule out the possibility that breakfast cereal could be the reason I'm alive today.
For as long as I can remember I have been relying on cereal to provide me with a fair amount of calories and carbs needed to remain standing. I would be hard pressed to find something that I could literally eat every day and not grow tired of. Cereal has remained at the top of my personal food chart despite having only two ingredients; milk & cereal. It's genius is in it's simplicity.
Given that I have placed cereal in such high regard and rarely have gone more than 24 hours without eating some, I feel I am in a pointed position to dole out my acquired cereal wisdom.
Shreddies : They have always had sharp edges. If you were to bite down on one up on it's end, the roof of your moth may sustain some mild damage. The key is to immerse them for approximately 40 seconds before eating. Apply milk liberally. Shreddies is one of the most absorbent cereals on the market. It gets milk-logged quicker than most.
Tip: a sprinkle of brown sugar on regular Shreddies is a dream you won't want to wake from.
- Sink or Float: Sink.
- 6.5 out of 10 spoons.
Cheerios : Unlike Paris Hilton, very popular for good reason. They're good and good for you. Cheerios has also produced some successful spin-offs. Honey-Nut, Frosted & Multi-Grain.
Tip: Get a box of regular Cheerios and mix in some of the above mentioned brands (about 80/20). They compliment each other well.
- Sink or Float: Float
- 8 out of 10 spoons.
Cap'n Crunch : For years this man has been taking a beating from the cereal press for being merciless on the roofs of innocent children's mouths. The verdict: guilty. This cereal is simply unnecessarily dense (Insert follow up Paris joke here). Unfortunately there is little you can do to soften it. The window of ideal density is perilously narrow. Almost immediately after it loses its enamel-like texture it goes almost completely flaccid. Sad really. In addition, Cap'n Crunch's naval credentials are questionable at best.
Tip: if you have a desire for a juvenile cereal with empty calories get yourself a box of Lucky Charms. That leprechaun bastard ain't just whistlin' dixie, they are magically delicious.
- Sink of Float: Float
- 2 out of 10 spoons
Life : This culinary gift from the gods is as good as my own life. And I ain't complaining. It's probably the best stacking cereal ever made. Meaning, you are able to effortlessly stack a good mouthful in one spoonful. For someone who doesn't really like spending a lot of time sitting and eating, this is a huge plus. It pleases me to say; Life is really good.
Tip: eat them quickly because they get soggy quicker than average. Or pour a smaller bowl.
- Sink or Float: Sink
- 9 out of 10 spoons
As you may have put together, cereal is my favourite food. They are my second favourite thing to wake up to after my wife. I don't take breakfast lightly because as I mentioned, it's the reason I'm alive.
This has been the art of...Breakfast Cereal.