Toronto! You’re on notice!
Okay so we couldn’t get Steven Colbert to write for us this week
but he did provide us with this picture of himself with a Toronto-themed
On Notice Board.
Of course, all of that is lies, lies, lies.
You can do yourself up a Notice Board here.
If you like and it’s funny do up your own Toronto-themed On Notice
Board with explanatory text and we’ll put it up on a future episode
of Gadzooks!
So look out 'cause anyone of us could be on notice.
Gadzooks On Notice Board
1. World classers. A city either has it or it don’t. It has more
to do with instilling a sense of community and history than building strange
looking buildings or insisting to anyone who will listen that we “are
too world class.” Montreal is world class because of the sense all
Montrealers have of being Montrealers whether French or Anglo. Also Montreal
had the good sense not to knock down every building older than 100 years.
What is wrong with this place?
2. Bruce Mau.
He’s trying too hard.
Enough with the clever quotes and meaningless babble about text and context.
I just want a friggin’ logo!
3. Hipsters, and you know who you are, have created a uniform culture
of “independent”
thinkers and consumers the likes of which have been unseen since goth
hit the streets, or grunge, or whatever.
4. . . . and their moustaches because they’re gross and no woman
really likes them. Really they smell. Shave it.
5. American Apparel. Promoting the idea of sexual freedom while actually
subverting the message that sex is wholesome and fun. Dov is lying, folks.
6. Che T-Shirts. He was a murderous homophobe. Get over it.
7. Synergy, because the term “working together” is as cool.
Don’t use 25 cent words when nickel ones will do.
8. Pirates. Buying gold to “hide” your money is stupid. I
know, it doesn’t make much sense to us either